Saturday, September 23, 2006

Whirlwinds and Withdrawals

Since coming off of her ventilator two days ago, Sadie has rapidly gotten better and better. I haven't had a moment to get on here - it's been a whirlwind of firsts, happy moments and long bouts of crying (Sadie, mostly, but some of my tears have been mixed in there as well).

Now that she's off the breathing tube I'm able to change diapers and bathe her, which is an adventure to try to acomplish around the 20 million wires still attached to her. Her arterial lines have both come out (one was in her neck, one in her groin), so now I can pick her up, hold her, rock her, give her a bottle (they won't let me put her to breast yet) and put her in a swing, which she loves. That kid just wants to keep on moving.

Despite all the progress, it's been kind of rough these past few days as she's been completely weaned from the Fentanyl, which is an opiate narcotic. Last night was especially gruelling, with an hour or more of every three devoted to crying, one to eating and then in my free hour I have to pump, get her resettled for a short nap, and try to lay down for a few minutes. I'm going on no sleep for several days except a few cat naps of 15-20 minutes, but loving every minute of her - even the cries. Just a few days ago there were whispers around here of brain and kidney damage. Today she's tracking everything with her eyes, responding to silly faces I make and eating like a champ, considering the trauma she has been through.

They've been giving her morphine and methadone to help with the withdrawals, and it's a bit better, but we still have some vomiting, diarrhea, sneezing, shakes and some extreme irratability. I can't wait for this phase to be over with!

Katie and I were interviewed for a telethon they're doing for the children's hospital, and Katie did an awesome job. Everyone has been coming up to say how well she spoke and how cute she was describing what was wrong with her baby sister and how she wanted to take her home forever. Katie's been so good through all of this. The reality of having a new sister is starting to kick in now that her sister is being held by mommy, though, and I'm seeing the beginning stages of some jealousy, but all in all, she's dealing with it well. She likes to stand next to me as I hold Sadie and rub her hair and tell her everything is ok, and that she loves her. She's such a good big sister!

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