Back on the seesaw

After the good news yesterday, we got bad news in the wee hours - she has an infection. A culture came back positive, and it will be another 24 hours before we know what it is. Right now all we know is that it's bacterial, and the location source is her right femoral artery, where she has a line going in. So, they've switched her off of her old antibiotic and started two new ones that cover a wide spectrum of bacterial infections, hoping that it will cover this one. We just won't know until tomorrow morning what's up.

All this means that she won't get her breathing tube out today, or tomorrow, for that matter. She is pinking up nicely now, but mostly due to her fits - she's throwing tantrums left and right. She's begun to grab at the wires and lines, and will cry for a good 10 minutes at a time. While it's great to see her reactive and responsive, it tears me up to see the crying. Nothing pacifies her except drugs. They try to let her go without them, but she gets herself worked up so much that her blood pressure skyrockets and they have to bring her back down.

So, I'm back to being overly emotional once again. I am beginning to feel like we'll never leave this room. I was so hopeful about getting home next week, but it's not going to happen now. We're all just ready to be home.

Katie's birthday was ok, but I didn't get to do any of the things I had hoped/planned for her. It just seems that we get swallowed into a time warp here in the hospital and we run out of time to do the "important" things. We did make it to a park for a few minutes, and managed to do cake and presents in the hotel room after a very late dinner. She was thrilled with her big gift - a dollhouse that she keeps begging to bring to Sadie's room. It's pretty cool - I have to admit I liked playing with it this morning, too. Don't feel too sorry for poor Katie, though - she has her big party this weekend which will be a lot of fun for her. I know she misses her friends.

That's the news from the PICU for today. More sitting and waiting, thrown in with moments of complete helplessness as I watch Sadie cry. I can not wait to get that little girl in my arms. I hope she doesn't hate being held. Right now if I even touch her it upsets her.