The morning after

Sadie is doing GREAT! Last night they took her off the epinephrine, and her blood pressure (which it regulates) has stayed fairly stable. She's started to try to breathe over the ventilator, which is good. Today the'll review the x-rays she had this morning to start talking about removal of the ventilator, which could happen as early as Monday. I can't wait to see what she really looks like!

I stayed in the hospital with her again last night, just because I'm nervous despite everythign going so well. It just all seems too good to be true after all we've been through the last (almost) two weeks. I actually slept - a LOT - maybe 7 total hours. I feel so energized this morning that I don't know what to do with myself. The PICU nurses are all trying to shoo us out for the day - it's going to be a pretty one here. We may just take them up on it. Once Sadie moves to the "floor" (post-PICU) we'll be with her 24-7, then home, so this is our last chance for a long time most likely.

I have lots of new fears cropping up now - but all good ones. Like I'm nervous about the first time I hold her - will she want to be held? Or will she be used to the lack of stimulation? Right now her bp goes crazy if you touch her. She hates it. Will she learn to nurse? How will I handle her at home, on my own? I'm sure it will all come together... it's just that after having her so sick since birth, I'm nervous for the first time about being a "real" mommy to her.

Our families were with us all day yesterday, and I can't thank them enough for their support. It really helped us through it all. You should have seen us all in the waiting room after we found out she was ok. I'm not sure how much Katie understands of it all, but we've told her Sadie is ok now, so I hope she doesn't worry as much. She has been VERY worried and telling lots of people that she wants her sister to get better.

Thanks, again, to everyone for their thoughts and prayers. Keep them up - Sadie is doing very well, but still has a long way to go.