Saturday, May 26, 2007

Total LOST junkie...

I don' t know how I'm going to get my fix... I'm a total LOST addict, and this was the best season ever. Now I have to get through the summer without it. Not to mention Heroes is done (what a lame way to end the season) and Idol is finito. What will I DVR now? Two episodes of Sopranos. Then I guess I'll start reading through my normal TV fix in the evenings. Summer can be so cruel.

In one of the last episodes of Lost, Charlie, knowing he was about to die, wrote down his five best moments in life. Being the total dork I am, I decided to try it myself. The amazing thing I discovered is that my top 5 those things happened in the last 4 years of my life. The other thing I realized through this exercize is that many of my happiest moments came at the expense of major "tragedies" in my life. I guess it was a reminder for me that, even in the midst of grief, loss, fear and sadness, great things and beautiful moments still happen.

I could easily come up with top 10 (actually, the list ended up being around 25). There are so many other favorite memories... happy childhood moments, beach vacations, my first kiss, the concert I met Jason at (Lollapallooza!), road trips all over the country with Cristen, my dad teaching me to dance, going to Longwood with Mom, the girls calling me "mama" the first time... it took me forever to narrow down the five "best." But this is the list I ended up with in the end. What are yours?

Here's what I came up with:
1. Katie's birth. That first time around is such a miracle - you have no idea what to expect and how your life will change. Katie looked up at me, and I've been her slave ever since.
2. Holding Sadie the first time. Imagine having a newborn and not holding her... watching her suffer, worrying she wouldn't survive. Then, magically, one day she is better and you get to hold her. She screamed the entire time, but it was magic, none the less.
3. Sadie's birth. Even though bittersweet, the actual process of giving birth without any drugs, in hindsight (not at the time) was a very rewarding and fulfilling experience. Would I do it again? Heck no. Hook me up to the drug machines. But the pride I felt for getting through it and living was immense.
4. The final moments I had with Nana. Jason's grandmother will have a lasting and lingering effect on my life. The communication we shared near her final days, both verbal and non-verbal, will stay with me forever. I always felt at peace in her home with her, and I miss her.
5. Getting my degree. Walking down the aisle, knowing I'd done it on my own, albeit the hard way, and that it was worth all those years of headache, debt, etc.

OK, and now because I know you care, here's the update on the girls the last few weeks. Katie came down with the flu on Mother's day. Sadie joined the party a few days later, followed by me. We all started feeling a bit better on Sunday of last week, when Jason suddenly threw out his back by picking up something off the lawn. He was just feeling left out, I think.

Katie is getting super excited about summer. She's got a million things lined up - classes (Tae Kwon Do, ballet, swimming, Spanish), play dates and other fun stuff. We're debating doing KD passes again this year. She had a blast going there last year. I'm hoping to work only 3 days a week (meaning working nights even longer hours, but at least i can get out), so that will be nice.

Sadie is "talking" up a storm. She's doing all kinds of sounds, and has mastered "Hi" and "Mama" - often using them together when I walk in the door, and waving like mad. She looks like if she keeps waving so hard she'll take off and fly. She's still not crawling, but that's ok. I know it's coming soon enough. She's decided to wean herself, which I'm kind of sad about. Actually very sad about. I feel like it was way too short. But she hasn't been gaining weight like she should, and she wants more than I can seem to keep up with, even with pumping in odd hours. So, I guess I need to just accept the inevitable. Next week she'll be 9 months!

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