Under Pressure...

My friend Cristen has this thing where she'll ask you what song describes how/where you are in life at the moment. Bowie/Queen's "Under Pressure" about sums it up for me. I guess all the stress of the past two months is just coming down hard - combine it with all the new stress of the past couple of weeks and I'm about to blow a gasket. I've been pretty calm and collected through all of this, but in the past weekend I've hit a wall.

So here's the skinny on why I'm losing my mind at the present moment. On Friday I never got a call from the pediatrician regarding Sadie's need to see a GI. I left a message Saturday. I called again today, and was told that they contacted Dr. Kessler, who's supposed to be the best in the Richmond area for infant gastrointestinal stuff. Dr. Kessler didn't have a free spot until February, but said he'd review her test results, and if it was necessary, would clear a spot in his schedule sooner. So I got a call this afternoon that she has an appointment this Thursday. That must mean that it's important. Crap.

Katie stayed home from school sick today. Her stomach is hurting pretty bad. She's on major laxatives, and has no control. All day yesterday I was running between Sadie and Katie changing poopy pants. Today the fun continued, although Sadie's not as bad as Katie today. At least mom was here to help wipe poop for a few hours. Thanks, Mom.

So then I decided I hadn't had enough fun lately, and that it ws time to start tackling the medical bills. Well, we have Anthem Healthkeepers, an HMO. Apparantly they decided that effective July 1 they would not pay for any services for non-participants above set amounts. UVA is a nonparticipant. I got no notification of this, and have requested further info. I don't see how they can possibly do this. They're saying they'll only pay $ 85,000 for Sadie's medical bills, as that is the maximum they allow for out-of-network expenses for a "condition" such as this one. Please. That's a drop in the bucket. We have ONE bill alone that is over $ 285,000. That was for the hospital - it didn't cover the physicians, cardiology team, radiology, surgery... the list goes on. So, I have new battles to wage in my free time. I mentioned to one of the insurance reps that I talked to that I had no choice... it was the only facility available that could save Sadie's life. She told me, well, at least you have her and she's ok. I told her that we are lucky to have her, and I'm forever thankful, but I'd prefer to keep my home, vehicles and belongings as well. Especially since we've been paying Anthem in the event that something like this ever happened. That's why they call it "insurance." She had no response for me. Not that I expected one.

I just want to know when the fun is going to end. I would like more stress (I haven't even TOUCHED how work stuff is going right now). I mean, really, we just don't have enough of this in our lives right now. My mood has gotten really nasty these past two weeks... I don't know if it's just the post-partum blues hitting about 2 months too late or if I'm losing my marbles, but I really just don't feel like I can take much more of this. I rarely leave the house, and don't feel like I have any time to do anything except work, feed the kids, change poopy pants and occassionally catch an hour or two of sleep. I know all moms go through it after having a newborn (been there, done that), but this time around is just so much more intense with all of the other outlying circumstances/problems/etc.

I think I need to have a really good, like 24-hours alone with good wine, Belgian chocolate and sappy chick flicks and then I'd feel better. That, or I need to beat the crap out of some inanimate object that represents the American health system. Maybe I can rig up something on Katie's bopping bag...