Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I'm about to blow

I'm trying to hold my crap together, but in all honesty, I'm about to lose it. The past few months have been trying and I feel that if one more thing were to drop, one more catastrophe hit, that I will just not be able to function any more. And then the next shoe drops.

Perhaps it's the four jobs that I'm juggling simultaneously. It could be the overwhelming pressure I feel to find new sources of income, such as agreeing to write an eBook on a topic I have zero interest in. It could be the simple pressures of managing a household. Maybe it's the pressure I feel when trying to find creative ways to pay bills when our income has been decimated by job loss for over four months - something I'd never accounted for in my worst case financial plans. Could be the financial demise of both of my clients, my main sources of income. Perhaps the crap Hanover county is putting me through to get a special exception to operate a home-based business? Or social services hoops required for licensing? To find time for the girls - quality time - in the midst of all of it. Or the grief over losing a long time friend. The death of a marriage. Yeah, I said it. Those of you closest to me already know, but throw it into the mix.

I am desperate for a way to escape it all, but I know escape isn't the answer. I have to somehow find a way to take on and tackle each of these, and the million smaller burdens they bring along. I guess my issue at the moment is figuring out how to handle even one, let alone all of them, simultaneously.

8 comments:

  1. Michael Scott9:22 PM

    That's what she said.

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  2. Call or come by. Any time.

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  3. Tanya5:17 PM

    I'm for hire in the evenings and I demand $.05 and hour. Let me know if you are interested.

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  4. Lots of hugs to you. Lets pin down a date and actually get together. I don't have magic elixirs to offer, but I do care a lot and can listen well.

    I wish there was more than I can do, but I am thinking of you.

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  5. Kristin9:19 AM

    I'm still available for Friday nite...and I'll take just the girls if you need to work on the eBook. Take advantage of me while you can ;)

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  6. Christy Davis12:12 PM

    Just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you. I do not have any answers for you, but please know that I am thinking about you and am here if you want to talk anytime.

    Christy davis

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  7. I came across your blog entry by accident while searching for something else. I too have recently suffered the death of a marriage and all the feelings that accompany that. I feel your pain so I thought I would reach out to you via this comment.

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  8. Kim, what can I do? Do you need a night out?
    Let me know

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