Ut Prosim...

"That I May Serve." Take a moment today honor the memory of those we lost at Virginia Tech two years ago today. Remember the families that suffered the ultimate loss. The friends. The classmates. Those still trying to pick up the pieces today.

I choose to remember by devoting part of my day to service to others, in their honor. I hope you will too. We are Hokies, we will prevail!!

The Final Emotion

An article was published yesterday on TechSideline.com that summarises my thoughts and feelings much more eloquently than I am able to write them at this point and time. It's a bit wordy, but so well captures how most of us (Hokies and VT friends and family) feel.


The Final Emotion
by Will Stewart, TechSideline.com


Apr 18, 2007

I am in the business of writing, of articulating my thoughts, of putting into words what others may only sense as a blur of feelings. I have never backed down from the challenge, be it capturing the emotion of a landmark victory, the pain of an agonizing defeat, the triumph and heartbreak that are part and parcel of athletics, even the horror of 9/11 over five years ago. It is my calling, my passion, my God-given talent. But I fear this ... this is too much.

I am not speaking lightly when I say that I cannot comprehend the loss suffered by the families, friends, and loved ones of this tragedy. I have tried to imagine what it must be like to suddenly lose someone close to you in this way. But I can't. I have a wife and three children, and when I try to put myself in that place, that terrible place where so many people have been thrown with no recourse, I can't.

It has only been two days since it happened, but it feels like forever. I am exhausted from being exposed to the brunt of it, from the message boards to the constant news coverage, to the conversations of family and friends, to the scenes on the Virginia Tech campus. Others have said they can't sleep. Not I. When I have fallen into bed past midnight the last two nights, sleep has come easily. It's getting up the next morning that has been difficult. We never thought this would be us. We have watched these kinds of tragedies from afar, but this one has hit us where we live.

The media have descended from around the world, poking, prodding, and worst of all, trying to place blame. An immense amount of pressure has been brought to bear on the Virginia Tech community, first by Cho Seung-Hui himself and then by the crush of international attention. While some of the coverage has been compassionate, much of it has not been, and some of it has bordered on cruel and sensationalistic. None of this surprises me, but being at the center of it still stings, and it changes your perceptions forever.

As I searched for meaning in what happened, I finally found it. I found it in the incredible poise, control, and togetherness shown by the Virginia Tech family. The true character of a person, group, or institution shows itself under pressure, and what the Virginia Tech community has shown us is grace, cohesion, intelligence, and compassion.

I have always thought that there was something different about Hokies, and the last few days have proven it. We always talk about the passion that Hokies have for Virginia Tech, about the special connection they feel to the university, and this tragedy has shown that talk doesn't ring hollow. If it wasn't true, if there wasn't a special bond between members of the Virginia Tech community, then they would have flown apart in the face of this adversity. They did not. They drew together and showed the world a united front.

Those interviewed by the media refused, for the most part, to be drawn into the baiting questions that sought to place blame on university president Charles Steger and the Virginia Tech Police Department. The very students who were in danger Monday let the world know where they stand when they applauded Dr. Steger at Tuesday's convocation service. The vultures were circling, hoping to pick the bones, but the people at Virginia Tech refused. They showed what it means to be Hokies. They drew together.

The students in particular have exceeded my expectations. We tend to think of them just as kids. Loud, shallow, self-centered, focused on the trivial, often spoiled. Adorned with body piercings, tattoos, and too much facial hair.

What we have seen instead, in the countless interviews of students on news channels up and down the dial, are bright, articulate, respectful individuals that any university would be flattered to call its own. Well-groomed, well-spoken, wearing dress clothes, ties, even suits, patiently answering questions, keeping their composure in the face of more than most of us will ever experience. I am on the one part humbled -- they are better people than I was at their age -- and on the other part proud.

Well done, students of Virginia Tech. You are representative of the type of people Virginia Tech is admitting and producing -- you, not Cho Seung-Hui -- and I am proud of both you and my university.

From the beautiful and gifted Reema Samaha to the cheerful, intelligent and talented Ryan Clark, Cho's victims were pictures of inspiration. These were not vapid, self-centered individuals. It is sad that their lives were cut short, but perhaps the way they conducted those lives will inspire others. They make me wish I could go through college again, to be more like them.

By the nature of what I do for a living, my window into the Virginia Tech world is athletics. Among the fans, athletics is about passion. It is about pride in victory and anguish in defeat. These emotions are always strong, always out of proportion to the importance of the games themselves, but I have always felt that with Virginia Tech fans, there was something beyond the typical fan relationship with their sports teams. Now that I have seen that passion and togetherness extend beyond the playing fields and the stadiums and coliseums and into the glare of this awful spotlight, I know it to be true.

Being a Hokie is not a mercenary relationship. It is not a business proposition. It is not an exchange of goods and services for money. It is a shared bond, a love that comes from somewhere we don't understand and can't explain to others. We do not take from this university; it gives to us. Perhaps when we first arrive on its campus, we have our own selfish interests in mind, but by the time we leave, we are transformed. We are Hokies.

It is sad and tragic that this happened to us. Because we love this university, we are devastated by what happened here. But if it was necessary for us to suffer in order for others to benefit, it is a burden we will bear, because our motto -- Ut Prosim, That I May Serve -- tells us that's what we must do. If our tragedy brings you together, if our loss makes you safer and makes you value what is important in life, if our suffering is not in vain, then we are prepared to shoulder this load ... so you don't have to. That has always been the mission of this university, and we are honored to carry it out.

Do not let the deaths of these 32 victims be in vain. Look into your hearts and see what it teaches you, and how you may be better because of what we have gone through. And know that when the bodies are in the earth, when the media has left, when others have moved on and life resumes its course, that for us, there is only one emotion left: Love. Love for this university, love for the people who died on April 16th, 2007, and love for those who are left behind. Remember this, and what happened here will not have been for naught.

William Neal Stewart
Virginia Tech, BSEE 1987

Hokie Pride

Reading my post yesterday, I realize the shock and anger that I felt. I've surfed the web for a few minutes today, and see that other alum are feeling the same way I do - angry at the media, grieving for the losses to our fellow Hokies.

After watching the convocation today, I felt something else... a very real sense of pride for the students that are there. I was brought to tears by the standing ovation that Dr. Steger received when he stepped up to the podium. I'm not ashamed to say I clapped along with them. After the hours of scrutiny that the press have put him through, I had thought that there may be a big backlash from the students. I was stupid to underestimate the brains behind the students of VT. Like her alumni, VT's student body is not swayed by the mass media - we know Steger, and the rest of those at VT did their very best, and we thank them for all they have done and are doing to make sense of it all. Yes, there were some terrible lessons learned - but now is a time to mourn this loss. Shame on the media for muddying the waters by trying to tear apart the student body and VT support system, instead of trying to bring together and build up the nation's support for these grieving families.

Yesterday was a day of shock, and today the grief begins to set in. To see the photos of those that were lost, to learn about their lives. It especially struck me how one professor survived the holocaust lost his life while trying to protect his students from a madman. One of the professors had published in one of my client's scientific journals. It is all so close to home.

Please keep Virginia Tech students and their families in your thoughts and prayers and help us in uniting to support the families in loss.

The vultures descend

Thirty-three people are dead. Many more injured.
All at my beloved alma mater.

The headlines and media personality are what are really surreal to me. I'm sitting here trying to get some actual news - who did this? Why? Who was injured?

What do I get instead? Matt Lauer reporting on how long it takes to cross the Drill Field. Bryant Gumball practicing his "serious concerned" look. Double-yuh reading a script. Every major media personality descending upon my favorite small town. Today more than ever I reaffirm why I abhore American media. I want the news, darn it. I don't need to know how it makes Larry King "feel sad."

In the days and weeks to come, I know this tragedy will be analyzed, again and again. I know that many will come forward with their stories, and, like many, I will feel forced to watch it in some hope of making sense of what happened.

Just a minute - here comes Dr. Phil to help us "make sense of it all." Oh thank goodness.

Soapbox and media orgy aside, my most heartfelt thoughts and prayers go out to everyone who lost someone they love today. As a fellow Hokie, my condolences go to the students and alumni who are reeling from it all. To the mothers who lost children, the wives who lost husbands, the girls who lost the loves of their lives... I am so incredibly sorry for their losses. I'm sad for those who got up, went to class this morning, and expected a German lesson, but lost their lives.

And finally, a note to one of my favorite people who should have been in Norris this morning, but chose to skip class. I'm so glad you're a slacker.