Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Yeah, so...

The latest...

I took a new job. I love the people I work with. I love the goals I've set for the year. But...

It's the year of the Dragon. It's my year. Well, kind of... it's a water dragon year, and I'm a fire dragon, and none of that matters except that I know that this is my big year in some big way. But I'm not sure how to lay the path forward. I know what I want, but have no idea how to get it - except to try, fail, and try again. Right now my results have equated to failure for the majority of this year, so try, try again.

The girls are great, but I'm half the mommy I was before I went to work outside the home. And a third of the mommy I was before making a major career change. I'm stressed, and the girls are fantastic about adapting to our life changes, but I'm feeling like a failure for a mom. It's easy for single moms to feel this way - we not only obsess about how we're failing our children, but also about how we ended up as single moms to begin with. Lately this feeling is in overdrive.

So... summary.
I'm stressed.
I'm feeling guilty for not being a better parent.
I'm not sure I am making the right decisions career-wise.
Which means I'm at home less and feeling even more unsure.
Which leads me to stress...

2 comments:

  1. Kim, you are a great mommy. Those girls are lucky to have you. Just do your best, that is all. By the way we love the chairs you sent in and the supplies. Everything is well used and much appreciated! Wish your kids were closer to southside. They would have a blast at MCC!

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  2. Hoping things get easier for you soon! But you really are superwoman! (((hugs)))

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