My New Life

I should be settling in about now, adjusting to my new life. The new dog. The new house, new yard, new job. But to say I'm settled would be a bit, well, overboard.

I am starting to get more familiar though. I recognize a few faces at work. I finally located the box with my important files. I'm starting to set into a daily routine as a single mom.

My new life, in reality, resembles nothing of the old one beyond the same friends, family, kids and one of the dogs. Everything else is very different. While it's too early to feel totally comfortable in it, I feel better, despite the stress of the past couple of months. I feel more like, well, me I guess. I've gone without TV, conveniences such as trash service or an evening sitter, and while I miss those things, they have given me time to find a bit more of myself. And work harder than ever. But the work is somewhat gratifying - it means I'm on my way, I'm learning, I'm emerging from the shell of a life I've been living for so long.

In the past month I've done a few things I haven't done in years. Sketched a picture. Rode a bike. Ate dinner at midnight, broken out art supplies in anticipation of new projects, sat outside and just looked at the stars. I'm on my way, I think. Now to figure out where it is I'm going...

It will get better.

When, I'm not sure. But I'm ready for life to get better. Somewhat easier. Something's gonna give soon. And hopefully it's not my brain.

Another tough, tough day. Another long week of work ahead. A week away next week for more work in Denver, while I try to juggle the other job. Closing two businesses - who'd have thought it to be so stressful? New job? Still on a major learning curve. U. G. H. And don't get me started on the personal numbers I've been through the last month.

I heard it was over 100 today. I had no clue it was hot. I spent my day inside a cube or a business building downtown. I did drive, and I think it was hot, but I was on calls, so really didn't pay attention. I was gone 12 hours, and worked about 18 thus far. I should get in 2 more before calling it quits and gettig up at 5 to do it again. But I think I'll slack off, take the heat for not getting everything done tomorrow and get a few hours of sleep.

Sorry to those I'm ignoring/not responding to/missing. I hope to come up for air again one day soon. I miss you. I miss daylight. I miss laughter and fun. I hope to find it again soon.