Thursday, March 26, 2009

Happy Trails Amanda... I'll miss you.

Saturday I had planned on running in Amanda's honor. Sadly, I'll be running with her memory, instead. Tonight that young, old friend spread her wings and left me behind in the dust. Though she's been sick for a long time, the loss was still sudden, and I feel blindsided - unready to say goodbye.

I've spent all evening reading old notebooks full of our childhood scribbles. Looking through scrapbooks and photos. Wishing she were by my side to laugh with me at our antics, terrible senses of style (hers was WAY cooler than mine, even back then) and countless secret phrases about anything and everything. I can't think of what to do to memorialize her, to really say what I need to say - to cut to the heart of how much I'll miss her.

So instead, I offer up a list of my top 10 favorite moments, ones that embodied a friendship that lasted a lifetime, and will last beyond.

  1. (sung to "Yesterday" by McCartney) "Leprosy... all my skin is falling off of me... I'm not half the man I used to be, oh I can't live, with leprosy" - Our response to the demand for a church camp skit.
  2. Stupid elevator games, to freak people out.
  3. The one and only movie I've ever walked out of - The crying game. We bolted after a few scenes and headed for another theater.
  4. Convincing my parents The Cure was a Christian rock band so that I could go to the concert with her. A lie I'll never regret (sorry Mom).
  5. Amanda and Adrian's wedding. Never in my years of friendship had I seen Amanda so happy. To this day, I've never seen another couple so well matched, so in love, so perfect for each other. My heart aches for his loss.
  6. Singing a duet to "Our God" - man I thought we rocked on harmonizing that. I used to get goosebumps over how good we were. Ha! (Amanda was a great singer, I was not). I still think of her when the TV commercials for "inspirational" songs come on with that tune.
  7. Inscribing our memories into the rafters at the top of the girls' bathroom at our camp. I need to take a trip out there to see if they're still there. Although it would kill me if they weren't.
  8. Fruit Loop Prostitute and Honeycomb Hooker. I won't bother to explain.
  9. Skipping out to 7-11 for Blueberry New York Seltzers. I think the two of us alone should have been enough to keep the brand alive.
  10. Alastair... her legacy. Sharing pregnancy stories, birthin' fun and mommy pride.
There are so many more. Almost 20 years worth of friendship can't be caught in ten bullet points. But I'm overflowing with emotion right now, so this will suffice.

See ya in Wonderland, Alice. I'm going to miss you.


  1. What a wonderful tribute. I know I don't have words to ease your pain, but know that I'm thinking of you and of Amanda's family, keeping you all in my prayers.

    I know the past few months have been amazingly difficult for you Kim, and I wish there was something that I could do for you. Please let me know if you need some time to talk.


  2. Oh I am so sorry. I don't know what to say. Just know that you and Amanda's family are in my thoughts. I think your tribute is beautiful. It's not often you get to have that kind of relationship that stands the test of time. I know you both were lucky to have each other. Anything - anytime - you let me know what you want/need. And I know my life is crazy and unpredictable - but I'll make it happen.
    Many hugs your way,

  3. Christy Davis4:27 PM

    I am sooooo sorry for your loss. This was a wonderful tribute to her memory....your best friend. There is nothing I can say that will ease the pain, but please know that I am here for you ANYTIME you want to talk. Day or night.

    Sending many thoughts and prayers to heal your broken heart.

    Christy Davis

  4. I'm awfully late in writing about the loss of your dear friend. I was sad then "happier" to read about you reminiscing about your yesterdays with her. What a beautiful, sweet friendship you both had. She'll always be watching over you.