Sunday, April 01, 2007

10 Reasons I Will Never Go to Walmart Again.

Today I was forced to go to Walmart. I have managed over the past 6 months or so to avoid it except on two occassions. The local Walmart is less than 5 miles from my house, and open 24 hours. With "rock bottom" prices, it is tempting for one to think it is worthwhile and safe to go there. I've never really loved Walmart. In fact, I barely tolerated it to begin with . But today I topped 10 reasons, so I officially am beginning my personal boycot of Sam's Evil Empire. Here's why:

10. It's dirty. Ewww.

9. Bad business ethics. Booo.

8. They're morons when it comes to logistics. Sure, it may cut costs, but don't be stupid about it. Restocking at the busiest time of the day (e.g. 4:00 on a Sunday afternoon) is not smart or efficient. C'mon people.

7. The obvious shoplifting that occurs around me is downright annoying. People don't even try to be sneaky. (Example - conversation overheard today "Should I get the red or orange?" reply "It doesn't matter, just take 'em both. You're stealing them anyway.") I could make off with an entire cart without being noticed if I didn't have these annoying things called morals. So I stand in line and pay while watching others walk away with hundreds of dollars in merchandise - right under the rent-a-cops noses.

6. Apparantly, being in Walmart gives parents full rights to let their children run through the aisles screaming, without supervision. In fact, it seems to be encouraged. I understand if you can't get your baby to stop screaming (believe me, I really understand). However, once they're 2 or so, enough is enough. No, tying them to a cart is not a solution.

5. I really don't save anything more than shopping at my local Target. Unfortunately, Target doesn't have all the food items yet (specifically produce), but they added wine a few weeks ago (yay Target!), so we're getting there. Please, Target, please. Stay open till 11, add produce and meats and you will see an even bigger percentage of my paychecks!

4. Walmart is ugly. Just walking in there makes you feel cheap. It smells like I imagine Bangladesh smells (my friend who lived there several years called it the armpit of the world).

3. The parking lot is scary - potholes, carts everywhere, shady people hanging out in their cars just watching you... and no matter where you park, you're at least a mile from the store.

2. They purposely put everyday items on opposite ends of the store (dog food, baby items, groceries) to force you through the maze of madness. To get dogfood I had to walk through toys. To go to the diapers I had to trapse through electronics and tents. To get food, I had to go through bedding. I just don't have time for that crap.

1. I like to go shopping without witnessing two arrests, a near brawl, surly staff, abused children and migrant farmers trying to cop a feel. Is that too much to ask?!

So next time I need food, I'll pay a fortune at Ukrops and talk to all the old biddies who want to tell me about their favorite types of cheese. If I need personal care items, I'll head to Target and sip a Frappaccino while checking out the latest in the growing line of designers that have sold out to mainstream America.

And, if I'm in the mood to see first-hand action rivaling the Springer show or COPS, I'll head to Walmart. Seeing that I hate those shows, you won't be seeing me in Walmart any time soon.

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