Love Grows!

Just after informing Katie that her aunt is now engaged, she started gushing about the wedding. And then she told me that she was very excited, because very soon the love would start to grow in Kerinda's uterus, and that then she and Spencer would have a baby.

So she knows what a uterus is, and why it's there. No clue how the baby gets there. And I intend on it staying that way for a few years yet to come.

One of my favorite days. Ever.

Nothing makes you appreciate your own children more than after the loss of another's child. I've been mourning Charlotte's loss for some time now, even before she was gone. Yet I felt shut away from the girls. Almost guilty for loving on them, when my friends' child was dying. I know that makes no sense - especially since Charlotte's father's instructions to me every time I saw him was to "hug your babies" but it was just hard to think of how healthy they were, how unfair it was to the Reynolds. But I'm moving on.

The memorial was absolutely beautiful. Thanks to all my friends who helped out with it, donated or were there for me to commiserate with. I love you all, and the Reynolds thank you too.

The service was so touching. I've been singing "I'll fly away," gospel-style for the last few days. It ended with "Let's go fly a kite!" as we headed out to the balloon release (eco-friendly ones of course). It was such a beautiful site, and was a wonderful act of letting go. The reception actually went well, even though we crammed 700 people in a space for 250. The bands were hopping, there was laughter and tears, hugs and friends galore. I even ran into some old high school chums I hadn't seen in years, which was a bonus boost. I felt a great sense of closure - not necessarily for me, but as a collective group. And I am in awe of the Ashland community. That little town truly is the "Center of the Universe." I'm proud to have called it home during my high school years.

But to be honest, I was so busy preparing, obsessing about making it all right, that I'd neglected my babies all week. Yesterday I crashed and burned - a complete pajama day, lounging on the couch, finally showering in the late afternoon and snuggling with the girls all day long. It was bliss to be so lazy (though I did feel very guilty).

Today was back to business. Thankfully it was a school holiday, so I had a fantastic day with the girls doing everything they could possibly want - breakfast at McDonald's playland, shopping for new Schleich animals, playing with said Schleich animals, playing outside, going to the park, making home made pizzas together (my white pizza is the BOMB!) and just relishing the little moments with them. The sun was out, it was a glorious 58 degrees and I felt alive and happy like I haven't felt in weeks. My God I missed my girls. And the sun.

I had the most awesome time with the kids. I laughed at Sadie running from spot to spot in the volley ball court to make sand angels. I had a long talk with Katie about Martin Luther King Jr and his impact. (She brought it up - this morning she told me she wanted to make MLK's wish come true for his birthday and she was going to be kind to every person and treat everyone the same no matter who they were, where they came from or what they looked like. Atta girl!). I teared up when the girls took turns shouting from the playground mountain climbing rock "I love you Mommy!" at the top of their lungs. I was just plain and utterly happy today.

So, I'm ready to embark on the next adventure in life, and where ever it leads. I will never forget the lessons taught by Charlotte and her brave parents. I will forever be changed by this experience in living and dying, and I am the better for have being graced by being a part of the conclusion of Charlotte's life. I would give anything to have learned in a different way, but am thankful for the lesson none the less.

So Long December!!!

I'm waaaay overdue on pictures. You know you want to see my beautiful babies. So here they are in all their December glory. We had so much fun this month - we had a weekend full of snow (very unusual for Richmond in December), went to the theater, enjoyed Christmas festivities and music, learned about and celebrated a few 'new' holidays (for us) and enjoyed two weeks off that were packed full of playdates and mayhem. Looking forward to 2010!!!

Katie's SEVEN!

Where does time go? You blink, and your baby is a first grader...

Happy birthday to my beautiful not-so-baby girl - I love you so much, and I'm so proud of what a compassionate young lady you are becoming!



Make a Smilebox slideshow

The results are in...

Katie's biopsy results came in last week. Over the phone the nurse told us that the results showed a benign growth, but that an appointment with our doctor would be needed for further discussion. So I pretty much knew what was coming when we got to the ENT's office this afternoon.

I guess I haven't previously posted what's going on with her. She had a red bump appear on the side of her face in early November... her pediatrician noticed it and asked about it. I had seen it too, and assumed it was a pimple or bug bite. Then I noticed a small black "spot" in the center of it - barely a speck. December was a whirlwind, but I noted that the bump began to change, turning purplish-red. The pediatrician put her on antibiotics to get rid of whatever the culprit was (and at the same time kill the strep she was in that month for). Late December came and the bump was more pronounced and the pediatricians referred us to an ENT. The ENT took one look and sent us for a biopsy - he said he frankly had no idea what it was.

The good news is that the infected-looking nodule on the side of Katie's face is not malignant, however it is a tumor. They suspect it's a case of pilomatrixoma, a tumor "composed of cells resembling those of the hair matrix, which undergo 'mummification' and may calcify." It doesn't look quite like what our doctor has seen and it's developed rather quickly, but he's young, so I take that with a grain of salt. I'm beginning to get used to being the screwballs with the "rare" presenting case.

Dr. Sally was wonderful in talking to us at a level that was over her head when needed, but at her level for what she needed to know. He made one fatal error though - he said "operation" instead of "excision" at one point in the conversation. Katie was a ball of nerves from that point on, breaking down into tears the moment he left the room.

I don't think any kids are thrilled about the prospect of an operation, even a "minor" one such as this. Katie, however, is terrified of them. One has to remember her short little life's experiences with operations and the scars they left, the stress on the person and those around them, etc.

As a parent one never knows the right way to comfort kids. In this case, I just let go and let her get it out. We've been talking about it all night. Really, it's not a major surgery - it's minor in the grand scheme of all thing surgical. In fact, I'm thinking it might be outpatient, but I'm unsure as it does require full anesthesia. But for Katie it's scary as hell, so I'm working on validating her feelings but at the same time educating her on what, exactly, will happen and how very different it is from her frames of reference. I'm sure to screw her up somehow, but I hope it's not on this one.

I think I need to sell our story. Our freaky health cases are at least good enough for an episode or two (or three) of House.

OK my medical-world friends, I have a quest for you. I asked the doc where the best place to go for her surgery was, and he said it didn't matter, anyone could do this - scarring would occur no matter who does it, but it will be a small one (1 inch or so I think). Still, I've learned not to trust doctors on their referrals or lack thereof. I trust my friends who've been through these things much more. Suggestions? Anywhere/one I should avoid?

Love, Love, Love

Sadie has become the meanest little bugger to her sister. She kicks her, pulls her hair and pesters her endlessly. Katie will be sitting, playing quietly, and Sadie will come up and yank her hair, just to see the reaction. We've tried everything to stop it, but it just wouldn't end today. Katie was crying every 10 minutes for another hit, pinch or hair pull. It doesn't help that both girls are still feeling ill and housebound.

At one point Sadie yanked a chunk of hair out, sending Katie into a (very loud) spasm of cries. Jason had enough and went in and pulled Sadie's hair so she'd know how it felt. Sadie erupted in cries - both girls at the top of their lungs. Five minutes later it calmed down, only for Sadie to do it again. I decided to try another tactic.

I told Katie to fight back. If Sadie pulled her hair again (the pain infliction of that moment), she was to pull back - HARD. If she hit, hit back. Bit, bite back. I told her it wasn't the nicest thing to do, but that we needed to teach Sadie that a) it hurts and b) there are consequences (since making her sister cry seems to be more of a benefit then a consequence to Sadie).

Sure enough, a few minutes later they're playing quietly in their room. I hear Katie yowl in pain again and rush to the stairs to listen to what's happening. Katie pulls back, HARD. Sadie cried. I waited. Katie came to the top of the stairs.

"Mommy, I never want to do that again. I don't like to hurt Sadie." Awwwww.

I wish I say my tactic stopped it. It didn't. Sadie started scratching again. Now Katie's got hang ups because she didn't want to hurt her sister and feels bad about it. And the yowling continues...

Slacker McSlackity

I won't lie... I haven't felt like writing. So I haven't been. Life's taken some unexpected turns that have left me reeling a bit, but I'll be back in the game soon. In the mean time, I'll post some photos.

Sweatsuits - $15.
Reindeer headbands to be cut up and reused as cat and mouse ears - $ 2.
Staying up until 3 am making homemade Tom and Jerry costumes the night before the Halloween party - 5 hours of lost sleep.
Photos of your kids willingly wearing the most ridiculous costumes ever - Priceless.



Straw maze! A local farmer's market puts it up every year, and we have to go through it several times before the season is over.


There's no more chances of getting Sadie in an unposed shot. Every time I pull out the camera, she stops what she's doing (in this case, smashing pumpkin guts with the stem) to shout "Cheeez!"


Katie carved her pumpkin completely on her own! She held her mouth that way as she did it the entire time, too.



Crazy Hair Day at school on Halloween.
She loved it. Really she did.
Meanwhile, I hummed "Jem, she's truly outrageous..." all day long.

Sadie's ears weighed more than she did, and they kept flopping over with every breeze of wind. And we all couldn't stop laughing. Guess we'll go back to buying costumes next year - although the homemade ones will be good blackmail pictures later in life...

Hope you had a Happy Halloween, too!

Don't forget to VOTE on Tuesday!!!

Worst Mommy Award

And it goes to none other than myself. I made the video for Sadie's birthday. Last Friday was Katie's. She asked for a video as well. The problem is, to make a video for her I have to condense 6 years. Plus find the right song (I refuse to use Hannah Montana). So it isn't done yet. Ah well. Hopefully it'll get done this weekend. Along with more painting, yard work, financial analysis, ant killing, flyer posting, power washing, shelf building and other fun things I have on my agenda. I'm praying for rain on Saturday morning so that we can skip Katie's soccer this week. Three days in a row two weeks back to back is enough.

So, yeah, Katie is 6! She decided she'd be kind enough to share her festivities with her sister, and we had a joint party this year at the local air-jumpy-place (JumpZone - they were great!). We ended up with close to 20 munchkins in attendance, after much whittling of the guest list. Katie didn't get to invite kids from her Kindergarten class this year - I had to put my foot down somewhere or we would have filled the darn place. Sadie didn't get many on her list at all, thanks to Katie's ever-growing social network. That kid has more connections than I do! Sadie ran around like a mad woman, trying to keep up with her sister and the other big kids. All in all, a good party - especially since it wasn't in my home.

In fun news on the home front, we've had an invasion of ants in the last 24 hours that rivals something out of a horror movie. I bought 8 bait traps, some spray, gel and outdoor treatment and got down and dirty spreading it all. Tomorrow I look forward to the joy of emptying cabinets to remove all their tiny little carcasses. I've already gotten rid of the honey bottle full of them (how DO they get in there?!), a couple of pounds of sugar and a ziploc bag of lollipops. Nasty little buggers. I have to admit I hate to kill them, though. The pest guys said not to interfere - to let them take the bait back to their nests. So I've spent some time watching them travel in their little lines along my backspash, stopping to chat with their passing neighbors. "Hey George, how are the kids?" "Fine Mary, just taking back this nice bit of (poison)grub to them - check it out! It's in cabinet three and there's tons to be had by all!" They seem much more intelligent than the crazy cricket spider things that will invade later this fall.

Also on the homefront, Three Oaks Montessori School opens on October 13! I've hired on an AMS certified teacher, and we're busily prepping the classroom area. Still having problems with the county and DSS, but I'll find a way, I'm sure. For now I'm going to open to 5 lucky students until we finalize our DSS application and can add others. I've been loving getting out there and experimenting with the girls and our neighbor kids with the different materials, and amazed with Sadie's progress already. I'd been worried about her age and ability to cope in the classroom, but she is better behaved in the classroom than at home by far. Katie is excited about the "big kid" materials we got, too - I purchased an entire primary to elementary classroom kit, so there's lots of work with fractions, geography and language that she's been dying to get into. I do what I can with her, but I have tons to learn - I can't wait for OUR school to start! I'm nervous as heck about filling up the classroom and waiting list(s) quickly - our marketing materials arrive tomorrow, and it just all makes it so real. Of course, the loan payment to do all of this slaps me into that reality as well.

And on the other business front, I continue to plug along with my clients. It's been a tough few months, and one is facing a situation much like the one on Wall Street (only nano-sized in comparison), so I've had a permanent case of heartburn over it for the last few weeks. A "bailout" may be in sight, though, so I'm hanging on and hoping for the best. I figure something has to break soon! (Hopefully it won't be within the synapses of my brain!)

It's her first day...

And she cried when I dropped her off. Oh, no. Not the tears. I was repressing my own as I walked away from her outstretched arms.

Not that her teacher helped. Her teacher didn't even greet her when she went in the classroom. Ms. X is about 23 years old at most, I believe. Seriously, don't they train Kindergarten teachers to say hello to their pupils? She was busy sorting markers, and the students all sat staring at each other at their desks, except for one little annoying guy who ran around with a glue stick in his hand. I think he'd been sniffing it.

And the teacher had moved her desk. At orientation, Katie was near the center of the classroom. Now she's off to the side, seated next to "Bertha," who must be about 75 lbs. She is the biggest Kindergartener I've seen in my entire life. Seeing that this is a person to have on your side, I introduced her to Katie. "Bertha" gave a loud, obnoxious "Haayyy" as she scratched her belly, which protruded over her jeans. Please, please don't turn my baby into a redneck.

Full report later on the first day. I'm here at work biting my nails, watching the clock, and hoping that I saw the worst part of Katie's day. Private school keeps looking better and better...

In all seriousness, though, it was a lot harder to watch Katie go than I thought it would be. Last night I sat looking at baby pictures, amazed at how quickly the years have passed. My cute little toddler is now 'school-aged' and off to make her own mark in the world. I realize she still depends on us, but at the same time, this is the dawn of her independence. Time to spread her wings. You want your kid to grow up to be independent, self-assured and such, but when the time comes to begin to let go, it's so much harder than I thought it would be.

She'll be fine. She'll adjust, and she'll love Kindergarten, I'm sure. Ms. X is probably just as nervous as her pupils and has no clue how to interact with parents yet. "Bertha" will likely become her best friend, and a great ally when bullies prevail the playground. And I'll learn to love having a routine for the first time in over a year.

But today, right now, I'm a bit blue... my baby is growing up too quickly!

UPDATE: She LOVED her first day! When I asked what the best part was, she said "everything!" I had been so worried, but she stopped crying by the time the pledge started (before I'd even walked out of the building). She also told me she made so many friends that it was hard to choose who to play with. Yay. She survived! (and so did I...)

The 4th (and 5th... and 3rd...)

Last week I was exhausted, so I played hookie a half-day on the 3rd to get ready for a fun, extended weekend with the girls. Here are a few of my favorite memories from our long-overdue family time...

Wendesday, July 3rd. Hat Day!!

Just a few of the many hats we gathered and played with. As a bonus, I discovered that I have a living, breathing garden gnome in our home, which should help satisfy my desire to go out and buy a ceramic one for my yard.


July 4th Fun at Casa Thies

We spent the day listening to Katie beg us to "do fireworks" and Sadie scream for no reason, which she often does to keep us on our toes. I felt like crap all day (thank you, Lilly drug company), so we stayed home and created our own festivities. The evening ended with our discovery that Sadie is terrified of whistling fireworks, Carly likes to eat discarded firework containers and that fireworks that "shoot flaming fireballs" are illegal in Virginia for a darn good reason. Thankfully, it had rained just before we set that one off... the singed leaves that fell down from the sky were easy to stamp out in the damp grass.

Whee! Mommy managed to talk us into matching, patriotic outfits!

The moonbounce... always a hit in our household.

Well, until mommy gets in, gracefully hitting the vent tube and the whole thing collapses.
Then it's just funny, not so much "fun."


July 5, The Tomato Festival

For the first time in the three years that we've lived in Bubbasville, we braved the natives and tried out the local Tomato Festival. I enjoyed camouflage watching (I can still see you, people!), the plethora of churches trying to push water on me in exchange for my soul, and watching the many ways in which people displayed some nifty confederate flag stickers that proclaimed "I support national Confederacy month." One very pregnant woman Jason encountered had a sticker on each... well, use your imagination. Good times.

My parents joined us for the humid outing, and despite the stress involved in taking small children out, we managed to create a few nice memories while there.

Mom stops to cheese it up with the girls and Mark Warner, US Senate candidate and previous VA governor. I don't think she realized he's a fairly liberal democrat (did you, Mom?! wahahahaha). Warner was rumored to be a VP consideration by Obama, but he declined, citing his desire to have more time with his family than that position would allow. So, instead, he was sweating his butt off at our hillbilly fair in order to garner a few votes. Yet another reason why I will never enter politics.

Katie fed a donkey at the petting zoo area, and the donkey became her new best friend. He followed her everywhere, nuzzling her for another scratch behind the ears and more food. I so wanted to take him home with us. The neighbors would LOVE it! Katie agreed, but Jason was having no part of that discussion. Sadie, meanwhile, spent time kissing and hugging a calf, mooing softly to it. If only I could get her to be that sweet to her sister.

In the midst of all of the festivities, a photographer walked up and asked if he could take photos of the girls while they decorated tomatoes. I got an email today, and it seems that we are once again "featured" in our local paper... yeeee haww! Not only that, I think we made the front page news. And, my mug on this shot is MUCH worse than my last one in this exciting publication. At least the girls looked adorable. Jason and I looked angry and uninterested. Which is probably accurate, but all the same... front page?! Ugh.

It's official - I think I have to admit we're now locals. But you'll never see camouflage, rebel flags or big bangs adorning on this Bubbaite!

Oh, yeah... it's always been this way!

My good friend Jen, out of sunny CA, called today to commiserate with my recent experiences with the children. Seems that she can relate as her daughter recently stuck a wooden QTip in her toddler brother's ear (far enough to land them in urgent care), as well as gave their kitty's whiskers a very short trim. All in one day. Thank God I'm not alone in all of this.

Jen also reminded me that this Katie-mess-making stuff is not so new, as evidenced from an old email she forwarded to me today. To think this was written almost EXACTLY three years ago to the date (sigh)...

Recipe for Disaster:

1 container Vaseline
1 bottle Baby Powder
A few dashes of Baby Oil
1 Extra Large bottle of Baby Lotion
A two-and-a-half-year old

Place all ingredients in a room unsupervised for 15 minutes. Be sure that it is very quiet in the room before entering it, otherwise the recipe is not working correctly.

Enter room to find mixture of the ingredients throughout the room, rubbed evenly in the carpet, on the walls, curtains, back of a rocking chair and evenly distributed throughout the toddler's hair. IMPORTANT: You will want to clean, but this mixture is impenetrable. Let dry a few hours until carpet changes to a dingy color.

After carpet is adequately ruined, walls are stained and the toddler's hair has been washed using shampoo, baking soda and other home remedies, you should have a disaster well on its way. Now dry the toddler's hair, put cornstarch in it to bring out the Vaseline, and you should have a complete disaster, such as the one pictured here.

We recently tried this recipe for Complete Disaster in our home just after placing our house on the market and it worked wonderfully. We also found that similar results can be achieved by substituted lipstick and eyeshadow for baby powder and Vaseline, which we tried on our Open House day. Enjoy!

Not much has changed since the last use of the recip... but I will let you know that you can exponentially increase the quantity of COMPLETE DISASTER if you add another child to the recipe.

Not what I had planned...

I awoke this morning, once again, to chaos and disaster. This time the girls had taken the newly purchased DragonBerry Shampoo and Blueberry Burst Body Wash and lathered everything from waist-height down on the lower level of our house into bubbles (or at least applied a slimy film which would later be "bubbled"). Seriously, what did I do in my past life to deserve this retribution?!

Every baby doll, both dogs, the coffee table, all the Disney plasticine toys, the Shliech animals, the bathroom sink, floor and both girls' lower extremeties were covered in the sticky goo. "But Mommy," Katie told me as I repressed a scream of rage as I realized the magnitude of the latest morning disaster, "We didn't go outside. And now the house smells good." I rinsed and washed, producing even more bubbles (much to their delight) and still found a spot on the carpet that is deeply stained with shampoo. I ran the steam vac over it this afternoon only to... you guessed it... produce more bubbles.

I threatened Katie with an eternity of time out if she makes one SINGLE other mess before I can hit the bottom of the stairs in the morning. Double eternity if she lets Sadie out of her crib. Her reply? Sadie can get out on her own now. Oh crap.

I never got a chance to memorialize George Carlin, one of my all-time favorite comedians who passed away last week. I did so this morning by muttering, thinking or screaming into a pillow six of the seven dirtiest words from his old 70's routine. The 7th word just didn't apply, or I would have used that one, too.

To make it all even better, I'm having some hellacious withdrawals from a medication I started a couple of months ago. When I had Katie, I began to suffer from anxiety attacks (though I didn't know that is what they were at the time). I did some medications back then for a few months, got my head screwed on straight again, and weaned off of them. I'd been able to control them since (now knowing what they were and how they came on) on my own, but in March they began to rear their ugly head once again. I wonder why? That was about the time the girls started their early morning escapades. So, I went to my primary care "nurse" (do doctors still exist?) and asked for something to help me along for a while. She gave me Cymbalta.

Two drugged-out weeks later I started having weird symptoms. Increased anxiety (but no panic attacks) and newly onset depression that I'd never before experienced. Insomnia. Cold sweats. Hot flashes. Irritability (yes, I can be worse!). Constipation like a... well, like it was not good. Then last week in New Orleans it doubled, and I added the shakes to the list. Enough was enough, so I quit. Cold turkey. I had only been on it for about 50 days, so figured I'd do every other day for a week and stop.

Now I have more fun symptoms. Night terrors (which I've never had before). Aching all over. Sharp pains in my legs and feet. Blurry vision. Extreme fatigue. Chills. What the heck?! I looked it all up online tonight and found out that these are all fairly common withdrawal symptoms from Cymbalta. I should have known, given my (and my kids') history with meds. I'm about to go the Tom Cruise route and get all psycho about pharmaceuticals. Tomorrow I get to visit with the lovely nurse who suggested this route toward wellness. I can't wait. She has no idea what she's in for. If I'm in a padded room by the end of the day, please promise to visit and wear a sunny yellow color to cheer me up.

So yeah. After being home for two nights full of night terrors, bathroom visits and incessant sweating, I'm awoken to what looks like a slime attack from a Ghostbusters flick. The devil mommy on one shoulder was oh so close to convincing me to spank them both and send them to bed, as advised in nursery rhymes and by most parents with more than 5 children. But angel-Montessori-loving mommy on the other side balanced her out and the girls ended up with a stern admonishment, a few timeouts throughout the day as required and the threat of eternal timeout and no-playdates-ever-again for Katie should she ever decide to do this again.

Please, please, let the threats work. I need a morning off!!!

Kicking Off the Summer

Summer has barely started, but we've been busy.

Katie's preschool days are officially over, and she graduated near the end of May. I'd be lying if I didn't say that I'm a bit sad... she just seems to be growing up too quickly. Since graduation she's also finished up a season of soccer (and received her first-ever trophy, which she is SOOO proud of), had a ballet recital, stayed a week with her cousins and grandparents, went to a local amusement park with a friend and has still found lots of time to climb the walls and tell me how bored she is. This is week 3 of summer. Here's a few photo updates of our fun...

The Dora-The-Hooker Dress. Here it is. The most hideous children's apparel ever conceived. Notice the black and white polka-dots. Purple, lime green and orange stripes on the skirt, completed with pink tights and ballet slippers. And, you can't see it well here, but there's a round disk pinned to her head that matches. For this costume, we paid $60. Would I do it again? In a heartbeat.

At both her rehearsal and recital I held back tears derived from laughter. The little ones were just so cute, it was almost unbearable. Of course Katie's class had the ugliest dresses ever imagined. The other prima ballerinas had gorgeous, poofy dresses that reminded one of sugarplums, flowers, and childhood dreams of fairy land.

Katie's reminded me of women that I've seen working the streets in Tijiuana.



Dressing Herself. Sadie's all about doing everything herself these days. She picks out her own clothes most days and screams the others when I insist she wear something that is presentable outside of the house.

Here we see her wearing her very FAVORITE thing in the world - the Gap Rainbow Jacket. The Gap Rainbow Jacket is worn even on 100 degree days with humitures over 110. I don't fight it. I figure she'll take it off if she gets hot enough.

Her other favorites are also in use in this photo. Notice the poofy, flowery skirt. It has matching knickers that she loves to show anyone who wants to see them. And the black, shiny shoes with rhinestones. This girl loves the bling.

She is very particular about her clothing, and once she chooses a favorite, I have to be sure to wash it at least twice weekly... she won't go anywhere without it.


Popsicles and the Pool. Jason's only request for Father's Day was that we spent the day together relaxing. We had planned a trip to the amusement park, but skipped out when it got too hot outside. Instead, our entire family enjoyed a great day outside. The girls lounged in the pool, sucking on popsicles, until they decided to get rowdy and drench mommy and daddy with the water that is now no longer in the pool. It was a nice relaxing day - one we rarely share together, with all four of us just enjoying the outdoors and each other's company. I hope for many more days like this this summer!

Another Mixed Bag

Renewed Ban on Walmart. Due to the need to penny pinch thanks to ever inflating gas prices and the inability to get rid of our gas-guzzling SUV, I broke my promise and headed to my most hated, dreaded, local W. I finally justified my hiatus from shopping there - not a penny saved. I spent quite a while perusing, carefully seeking bargains. What I found is that my beloved Targét is MUCH less expensive in most areas - kids clothes (and much more stylish), snack foods, toiletries and diapers to name the big ones. Yay - I can once again justify my hatred of the ugly side of big business!

Preschool Ballet Rocks. More to come on that in a later post, when I load the photos and video. Let's just say I cried my eyes out... from laughter. It was well worth every penny invested in the hideous, Dora the Hooker costume for that one hour of comedy.

Yackity Yack. Sadie's talking up a storm these days. Today she got a scrape on her knee. Tonight she told me as I changed her "Mama, I Bad Boo Boo Knee" clear as a bell. She's 21 months in 2 days. She loves to boss Katie around... "TahTay, BAFF!" "TahTay, KeenUp!" and "TahTay, go ny-ny."

Japan is ON! Yep... it's definite... I'm going in 8 weeks!

More requests for your energy/thoughts/prayers:

• Amanda is back in the big house for another intensive round of chemo in an effort to wipe out the leukemia cells that survived the first round. Also, it looks like she's facing bone marrow transplant in the near future. Stay strong, 'Manda!
  
• Jameson is back home and healing after a successful Fontan (heart surgery). Hooray!
• Harlie goes in tomorrow for her jaw reconstruction. Good luck, Harlie, and hang in there, Christy!!!!
  

Worst. Morning. Ever.

I awoke to the sound of a cat mewing this morning. Strange, I thought to myself in my semi-conscious state... our cat Buster doesn't meow. He makes a gutteral "growww" sound. But this was definitely a meow. Hmmm.

I opened my bedroom door to find a strange cat sitting there. Interesting. How did he/she get into my house?

I stumbled in to brush my teeth and put on some eyes (glasses or contacts) so that I could get a better look at our feline visitor. As I put in my first contact, I thought 'maybe he came in last night with Jason, who didn't notice.' As I put in the next contact I realized it was quiet downstairs... too quiet. Especially for 7 a.m. I raced down the stairs.

As I came to the bottom of the flight, I heard a bump and a scream. Katie and Sadie were by our kitchen door, wearing jackets and their pajamas. Katie was yelling at Carlie that she was a bad dog for knocking over Sadie. Sadie was howling.

I went over to pick up Sadie and to scold Katie - first for getting her sister out of her crib (a no-no) and second for taking her outdoors without permission while mommy and daddy slept (a not-previously explained no-no, but a common sense no-no). While lecturing Katie, I noticed a smell. And that Sadie's butt was soaked. And that the smell was overpowering, and worse by the second. I pulled out the full trash bag from our kitchen can, ready to stick the soon-to-be discarded diaper in it and took Sadie to the changing table. She was covered in poo - not solid, not cute, but the nasty, sticky, diarrhea type of stuff. Those who are eating while reading this may want to stop now.

As I mopped up Sadie and gagged profusely, I failed to hear the rustling coming from the kitchen area. I'd also forgotten about the strange cat in our home. I was intent on hazmat removal of toxic substances. I finished with the diaper duty to discover that underneath it all, Sadie had the worst diaper rash. Ever. She howled as I tried to wipe her, and screamed when I put Desitin on. Great.

I wrapped up the diaper in the first of many bags to dispose of and took it to the kitchen. Only to discover that the dogs had pulled out aforementioned trashbag and had strewn the contents all across my carpet in the living room. Yes, that carpet that I'd spent two hours the night before steam cleaning. That's the one.

As I picked up trash, I discovered another surprise. A mostly-melted popsicle (bright red and purple) sitting on our entertainment center, dripping steadily on... you guessed it... the freshly cleaned carpet. Oh joyous day.

I knew Sadie wasn't feeling great, but decided it was still a great day to go to Grandma's for some babysitting. So I struggled to get everyone in the car, to my mom's and back. Coming back, I opened the door only to be almost bowled over by one freaked- out cat that did not belong to me. He shot out that door like lightening - no doubt due to the smell emanating from our no-longer-fresh-scented home. I broke out the Lysol, stripped Sadie's room, re-steam-cleaned, lit every candle I owned and, for good measure, brewed some coffee to help offset the overwhelming aromas floating about our home. My employee later went in to use the restroom, and noted how fresh it smelled in our home. Hah.

I need to install some new locks. At first I thought about keyed locks that have the keyhole on both sides. Then I realized that that would be a serious fire hazard. So then I thought a chain lock would do it, then I realized that Katie would just stand on a chair and open it. And if Katie does that now, who knows what her rebel-rouser sister will do in a year or two.

I asked Katie tonight when I put her to bed how long they'd played outside this morning. (I'd asked her the same thing this morning during the "lecture" and she said just a few minutes). She informed me that it wasn't that long... they had waited for the sun to come up first.

I told a few people this story today, and I got the usual, "You'll miss these days when they get older." Actually, no I won't. I may miss the age, or the giggles, cuddles and laughs, but I will NOT miss the diarrhea-filled, strange-cat laden, floor-ruining, heart-stopping days like this. Not. At. All.

Recently heard...

Katie's at that age where her reasoning, expanding vocabulary and innocent insight combine in a lethal combination of comedic quips. Here are a few heard just this past week:

Katie asked me earlier this week why girls just have the "short thingies" instead of penises, like boys have. I told her because that's how we're made. She replied that it would be so much easier if we had them, so that we could pee on trees like boys do. She then asked if boys have the "third hole." No, I tell her, boys don't have a vagina. Later I hear her telling Sadie "You have a 'banina' like me because you're a girl. You don't have a penis." Ah, great. Can't wait till my 20 month old starts running through the house talking about penises.

She loves to personalize Old MacDonald with family in it. For Jason, it's "with a poot, poot here," with me it's "and drama, drama there" and Sadie is "everywhere a scream, scream." Tells you quite a bit about our daily lives.

Katie: You know Carlee has a boyfriend now?
Me: No, really? Who is it?
Katie: It's Jacob.
Me: Oh wow, that's big news!
Katie: Yeah, but she's already tired of going with him. She's breaking up with him tomorrow, but she's too scared, so I'm going to do it for her.
Me: How will you do that?
Katie: Duh, I'll chase him when we're playing wolves, catch him and tell him it's over with him and Carlee and that he needs to move on.
Me: Sounds like a good plan. But try to be nice about it Katie. He may have his feelings hurt.
Katie: No, Mom, he's used to it. All his girlfriends break up with him that way.

Tonight, while playing animals I said something to amuse her. A few minutes later she told me that her brain was still laughing inside her head.

Goooooooooal!!!

Excuse my indulgence in a bit of a brag on my kid, but I have to do it - Katie scored her first goal today! She was so excited that she literally bounced back to mid-field for kickoff.

Her team practices every Saturday for 15 minutes, then they play a game. That's it. No weekday practices, not much formal coaching. They play 3-on-3, so it's pretty personal out there, much like no-holds barred wrestling on a soccer field, pre-school style. The quarters are pretty predictable - the kids tend to run back and forth a dozen or so times, with 1-2 kids just kind of running in circles, another scratching places that shouldn't be scratched in public and maybe one picking his/her nose while running. There's occasional violence (the coach's son on our team is VERY good, but roughs up the others all the time in the process of getting the ball), a lot of drama (at least 3 good bouts of outright bawling I've seen thus far, including Katie's in her second game because she hadn't made a goal yet), and no shortage of over-enthusiastic coaches reliving their childhood. I never fail to get at least one good belly laugh that brings tears to my eyes while watching from the sidelines.

Katie is great at dribbling, but has been very shy and lacked confidence until today. After that goal, she was in there, on the ball, running her hardest and dribbled all the way across the field several times - she's actually really good! (This I was very unsure of until today). Obviously, this comes from her dad, since I never played a team sport growing up.

Yay, Katie!! I was so proud when you scored that I got tears in my eyes - and this time it wasn't from laughing, it was from pride. Guess it's time for this mommy to go out, buy the minivan and get the soccer magnet to make it official - I'm a proud soccer mom!

Sisters

Hangin' out in a toy bin on a typical Thursday morning around 6 am. All the toys had been taken from the bin and littered through the living room already. You will note some sort of orange substance on Sadie's face and PJs if you look close enough. And Katie's stopped talking only long enough to smile for the camera. The nonstop litany of 5-year-old conversation started the second the flash was gone. And fighting quickly ensued.

But they did look like adorable little angels together for a moment.

Tough Day

Sadie went in to the doctor today for what I thought was yet another ear infection. The ear was red, but not bad, but what was not good was her chest. It turns out her 02 Sats are lower than they should be (highest they got was 95) and her chest sounded icky, so we were sent to the hospital immediately for an Xray to see if it's pneumonia or something having to do with her history of pulmonary hypertension or heart. Good news (I guess?) is that it's not pneumonia. Bad news is that we don't know what it is. The doctor called me a few hours later and said that we should get the xrays to her pulmonologist (which we don't have and I only recently found out we should be seeing) and cardiologist. It was after hours, so I have to call the cardiologist tomorrow to see what's up. I don't know if this is a "big" thing or not, as the pediatrician's voice mail told us that "nothing specific turned up, but you should follow up". Does that mean there's something? The pessimist in me says yes, as she wants us to see someone else (specialist). The calm attitude about it all with the underlying urgency is alarming, and my bells are going off all over the place.

Sadie's had a couple of spells in the last two months where her lips turned blue, but always when she was cold, so I wasn't too worried. Then, recently she's been panting a lot, but I chalked it up to allergies, which she appears to have (stuffy nose, sneezing, itchy eyes). Now this. Hopefully it's nothing, but I am anxious to get to a specialist. I've discovered through the whole CHD awareness campaign stuff that our care and follow-up post-surgery has been less than adequate through UVA, and I plan to address that and get some answers to the current issues. I just hope and pray it's not a leaky valve, stenosis, or whatever the "maybes" are. None of them sound nice. I'm crossing my fingers for this to be a serious case of over-zealous pediatrician. Please cross yours too.

Katie, as always, was a little champ about it all today. I could tell it was bothering her because she kind of clammed up at the xrays and after. Tonight we talked for quite a while (while dressed in our finest princess apparel) and she told me she was scared and didn't want Sadie to be sick or go to the hospital. We talked about it, and I think she's ok, but she's one serious (and insightful) little girl and takes in more than I know I even realize.

Speaking of Katie, I have a scene from our daily life to share...

"MOTIVATION"

Setting: on the floor in her bedroom, playing Barbies. One of hers is pregnant.
Katie: My Barbie is fat. She is having a baby.
Me: Katie, it's not nice to say someone is fat when they are pregnant. Having a baby inside you is very special, and the baby makes your tummy big because he or she needs room to grow. It's a miracle, and you should never make a pregnant mommy feel bad by saying they look fat.
Katie: Mommy, I'd never say you are fat. You don't have a fat tummy.
Me (knowing she is lying on the tummy part, but pleasantly thankful for her sweet reply): Thank you, sweetie.
Katie: I'd just say your tummy is HUGE.
My exit stage left, as I go to look up Weight Watchers online. Again.

Out of the mouths of babes... (ugh!!)

Post Pascha Prilosec Please

Ugh... pass some relief this way, please. The girls had a fantastic time this Easter, but this momma could crawl into bed and sleep for a year. Who the heck was it that decided plastic eggs and candy should be a part of this day's festivities? Clearly, not a parent.

The morning started with Katie awaking at 5:20 to follow a trail of glittery confetti and eggs that led her to the ultimate payout - Easter basket complete with a new Webkinz and Hannah Montana CD (yes, I am a glutton for punishment, thank you for noticing). She managed to keep things quiet for a little over an hour before waking her sister, who discovered her basket. Sadie proceeded to bite through Hershey kisses wrappers, and when Jason put the basket out of her reach, found a way to get to it, grab candy and then run like all heck to a quiet spot where she could imbibe. Around noon we headed to the Thies clan's homestead in NoVa, where five cousins hunted for 149 more eggs . The ride home was one that even Satan couldn't come close to imagining up as the ultimate punishment in the depths of his fiery kingdom. Two candy-cracked out kids, two irritable parents and an insane lack of sleep led to the best case of heartburn I've ever had. Screaming, kicking (some of it the kids' doing), loud music and a 5-year-old with diarrhea of the mouth, it was one of the longest 1.5 hours of my life. Finally, they are in bed.

Now to hide all the candy they got today, to be given out in small increments over the next, say, three years. I'm sure there's enough that if it were one piece a day we could do that, with a few pieces left over.

Onwards and upwards. I did manage to get out to the office for some quiet moments (now), and read a blog entry in one of the many I keep up with that I'd like to share from AuspicousJot...

To me - resurrection is about the slow invisible pulse of life that flows in our seasons and quickens in Spring.

Resurrection is when you think you can never love again; when your heart is so broken that you let it die instead of trying to heal. When there are years of cold in your heart. And then... and then... you meet someone and you feel it again. The early pangs, the budding, and the full aromatic blossoming of a heart bursting with love. Resurrection.

Resurrection is people who live in the dark and endless tunnels of depression who see a glimmer of light and have the courage and the stamina to start running for it. And the darkness is so much more than that little flicker of light, but they run and run and run.

Resurrection is a hope that more people will resist taking up arms and instead hold hands with strangers. Cities will be rebuilt. Wounds will heal. Peace will be learned and taught.

Resurrection is every person in recovery working the program, going to the meetings, being clean today. Resurrection is starting all over again tomorrow.

Resurrection is apologizing, forgiving, learning from your mistakes, not dwelling on the mistakes of others.

Resurrection is trust, hope, faith, and awe.

Resurrection is leaving a little bit of room in your life for the impossible to take root and become possible.

Resurrection.

Beautifully written. I needed a bit of food for the soul, and this left me with a warm and fuzzy feeling about a beautiful day, and its true meaning. Rock on with your chocolate bunnies, kiddies. Momma's back in the game.